Crazy Awesome

Welcome to the antidote.

Christina Aguilera has been looking like a TRANNY. October 5, 2008

Christina, what is going on with your makeup lately?  You look.  Like a tranny.

 

Hot mess.

Hot mess.

 

OMG, seriously.  Who is doing her makeup!?

OMG, seriously. Who is doing her makeup!?

 

I guess I’m not THAT surprised though.  Miss Chris is not exactly known for her subtle fashion sense. Remember this?

 

There just isn't a good excuse for that hair.  That ass, on the other hand...

There just isn't a good excuse for that hair. That ass, on the other hand...

 I miss smokin’ hot Christina.  Come back mami!

 

Hey sexy!

Hey sexy!

 

Hustler is making a spoof porn about Sarah Palin. Amazing! October 4, 2008

I love TMZ for these types of tidbits:

Sarah Palin is officially a legend! Hustler Video is shooting a porn with a look-alike titled “Nailin’ Paylin.” The spelling is sic and so is Hustler. You betcha!


The faux Sarah is Lisa Ann, who “will be nailing the Russians who come knocking on her back-door.” In another scene — a flashback — “young Paylin’s creationist college professor will explain a ‘big bang’ theory even she can’t deny!”

There’s also a threeway with Hillary and Condoleezza look-alikes.

The video is in pre-production, but is being fast tracked for release before the election.

The chick they’ve just hired to play Clinton in the three-way is well-known adult film star Nina Hartley. =)

 

I love this firstly because it’s hilarious, and secondly because it goes to the heart of the issue better than any reasoned rant by a political pundit.  Sarah Palin is popular because she’s a MILF.  The men want to do her, the women want to be her, and everyone can imagine sharing a low-cost drink with her – such as a fitty or some boxed wine.  All of which is fine and good, but THOSE ARE NOT THE QUALIFICATIONS FOR A FUTURE VICE PRESIDENT.  Hello!  

Seriously, think about it.  If Hillary Clinton had the qualifications of Sarah Palin, people would laugh her right out of the race.  Don’t even TRY to tell me they wouldn’t, because I would believe you.  Because you’d be lying.  

I’m just saying.

 

Sweet Jesus, Lindsay Lohan wants a baby. October 3, 2008

Lindsay Lohan wants to adopt a baby with her lesbian lover, Samantha Ronson, according the new issue of Marie Claire magazine.  They’ve JUST come out of the closet as a couple, so the next logical step is clearly a celebrity adoption.  After all, why would people care about her now that the gay quesiton has been answered?  Apparently she wants either “a child in need or a newborn from another country. I’m not sure yet.”  Lordy.

How is this a good idea? This bitch has been in rehab like nine times in the past two years (that’s a totally made-up figure, by the way, so don’t quote me.  But for real – it’s a lot.), her family is a complete disaster, and we have pictures of suspicious cuts on her arms – indicating self-harm – from mere months ago.  Not only that, but she’s reportedly off the wagon again hardcore, partying with her girlfriend Samantha Ronson at all her DJ gigs.  NEWSFLASH:  babies are not hobbies!  They are something you commit to loving and caring for for the rest of your life.  FFS.

She's stunning, I'll admit.  But stunningly ready to raise a child?  HELL to the NO.

She's stunning, I'll admit. But stunningly ready to raise a child? HELL to the NO.

Lindsay and her man recently enjoyed the waves in sunny Mexico.  Having admitted to their relationship, they were finally able to be as lovey and affectionate as they wanted.

Not that they weren’t before, but whatever.

Lohan & Ronson, before admitting they were together.  No worries gals, NO ONE KNEW.

Lohan & Ronson, before admitting they were together. No worries gals, NO ONE KNEW.

 

Scarlett Johannson is offically off the market. =) September 28, 2008

Scarlett Johannson has married her fiance Ryan Reynolds this weekend at a small private ceremony in Vancouver, British Columbia (Canada) this weekend, the Daily Mail UK reports.  The gorgeous actress, of “Lost in Translation” and “Match Point” fame, is known as much for her stunning hourglass figure as for her talent. 

She's the modern Hollywood starlet.

She's the modern Hollywood starlet.

The actress, who director Woody Allen has described as “sexually overwhelming”, has been with Reynolds since last spring – not too long after he dated Alanis Morrisette.  I’d be hella-pissed if I was Alanis, because let’s admit it – Scarlett is a step up as far as mates go.

 

Mr. & Mrs. Reynolds.

Mr. & Mrs. Reynolds.

Personally, I think Scarlett and Ryan deserve each other.  “Sexiest Woman Alive” (Maxim) or not, she’s still a prissy little twat, and he’s a total frat boy.  

Still – congrats to the happy couple! =P