Crazy Awesome

Welcome to the antidote.

CHALLENGE TO CONSERVATIVES: Why Palin? October 7, 2008

I genuinely don’t understand the affection for Sarah Palin.  To me she comes across as uninformed, unprepared, ignorant, and condescending to the American people.  But an awful lot of people are rooting for her, and I would like to learn why.

Here’s my challenge to conservatives:  Why do you like Sarah Palin, other than that she’s an “average Joe” that people can relate to? I want to hear why people think she’d make a good vice president, not why people want to have her over for dinner.  Sabes?

INFORM ME!

Why do you like her?  I don't get it!

Why do you like her? I don't get it!

(P.S. Liberals – exercise your right to free speech too!)

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How Sarah Palin figures out what to say in public… October 6, 2008

See below, for an apt illustration of how Sarah Palin navigates questions in debates and interviews.

If you think it’s not true – look at the stats.  Since Barack named Joe Biden as his running mate, Biden’s done over 100 interviews/debates/etc.  Palin has done three, all of which were total disasters.  You don’t think so?  Hmmm…maybe you don’t remember this hot mess:

It was so rich in satire material that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler clearly couldn’t resist.  Hence last week’s SNL Palin/Couric spoof.

All signs are pointing to (let me hear it now!) Sarah Palin being woefully unprepared for the role of vice president of the United States of America.  You betcha!

(P.S.  Thanks to my Danish buddy Kathrine for the hilarious debate chart!)

 

Tina Fey rips Palin ANOTHER asshole with SNL VP debate spoof. October 5, 2008

I seriously hope Tina Fey gets an Emmy for her comedy work on SNL during the 2008 election.  Because this shit is amazing.  Queen Latifah (as the debate moderator) is such a blunt instrument of an “actress”, and Jason Sedakis (as Joe Biden) was a little obvious too – but who the f@#$ cares, for real.  Tina Fey as Sarah Palin was, as usual, SPOT on.  As my new roomie Joannah said last night, “It’s even funnier b/c half of it is taken verbatim!”  So true, JoJo, so true.

Some of my favorite moments:

 

“I think marriage should be a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers.” (LOL!)

“I love Israel so much.  Bless it’s heart.”

“Oh, are we not doing the talent portion?” (Plays a flute)

“And for all of you Joe-Six-Packs at home playin’ a drinkin’ game: Maverick!” (Takes a ghost-swig.) – this one in particular made us laugh because, as you’ll remember from my vp debate breakdown, we actually tried to PLAY that drinking game. =)  Good times.

 

 

Hustler is making a spoof porn about Sarah Palin. Amazing! October 4, 2008

I love TMZ for these types of tidbits:

Sarah Palin is officially a legend! Hustler Video is shooting a porn with a look-alike titled “Nailin’ Paylin.” The spelling is sic and so is Hustler. You betcha!


The faux Sarah is Lisa Ann, who “will be nailing the Russians who come knocking on her back-door.” In another scene — a flashback — “young Paylin’s creationist college professor will explain a ‘big bang’ theory even she can’t deny!”

There’s also a threeway with Hillary and Condoleezza look-alikes.

The video is in pre-production, but is being fast tracked for release before the election.

The chick they’ve just hired to play Clinton in the three-way is well-known adult film star Nina Hartley. =)

 

I love this firstly because it’s hilarious, and secondly because it goes to the heart of the issue better than any reasoned rant by a political pundit.  Sarah Palin is popular because she’s a MILF.  The men want to do her, the women want to be her, and everyone can imagine sharing a low-cost drink with her – such as a fitty or some boxed wine.  All of which is fine and good, but THOSE ARE NOT THE QUALIFICATIONS FOR A FUTURE VICE PRESIDENT.  Hello!  

Seriously, think about it.  If Hillary Clinton had the qualifications of Sarah Palin, people would laugh her right out of the race.  Don’t even TRY to tell me they wouldn’t, because I would believe you.  Because you’d be lying.  

I’m just saying.

 

Matt Damon discusses the terrifying prospect of a “President Palin”

 

Watch Matt Damon, on CBS, talk about how seriously frightening and absurd it is that Sarah Palin could end up being our next President.  If 72-year old cancer survivor McCain kicks the bucket, we’ll be stuck with someone who believes dinosaurs were around 4,000 years ago against the Vladimir Putins of the world.  I especially love Matt’s comment that it’s like we’re stuck in a really bad Disney movie where the hockey mom becomes president.  He’s right!  This is like Air Bud or something.  Why is this actually happening!?

 

Good signs and bad as the Dow sees significant Tuesday gains September 30, 2008

I think most of us yesterday were poised to empty out our 401Ks and stuff the cash under our matresses, as the Dow Jones suffered it’s largest point (not percent) drop in history – 778 points, or roughly 7%.  Everyone freaked out when Congress (thankfully!) didn’t pass the $700 billion bail-out bill that Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke proposed last week after the collapse of Lehman Brothers and several other key Wall Street players.

Bernanke and Paulson.

Bernanke and Paulson.

One thing Americans do well, however, is keep the faith.  We hoped it would get better, and today is has:  the Dow went back up 485.21, a gain of 4.7%.  Several other vital indicators rose as well: the S&P 500 index recovered 58.35, or 5.3%, and the Nasdaq composite index rose 98.60, or 5.0%.

There is speculation that this recovery is mostly due to a belief that a new bail-out bill will pass on Thursday, when Congress meets again.  This belief is significantly rooted in the fact that the credit sector, where most of this crisis finds its origins, is still showing no sign of relief.  In fact, the benchmark London Interbank Offered Rate, or LIBOR, that banks charge to lend to one another rose sharply, making it more expensive and difficult for consumers and businesses to borrow money.

Hopefully if and when a “bail-out” bill does pass, it will include to some degree the following provisitions, rather than giving Bush’s treasury secretary carte blanche to use taxpayer’s (our!) money:

  • Limits on executive salaries: There is no reason we should be paying for so-and-so CEO’s house in the Hampton’s when he/she presided over one of the US’s biggest finacial crises EVER.
  • Compensation for the public:  Why would we care to save these greedy companies, who showed no regard for the average consumer when they offered sub-prime mortgages, etc., when we don’t even have the possibility of benefiting from their salvage.  I want STOCKS.
  • More regulation: I’m not a fan of the socialist nanny-state, but at the same time, the Republican policy of “less government is better government” has bit us in the ass for eight years running.  Let’s get some rules in there folks.  Infinite cash + no boundaries is ALWAYS a bad idea.  Just look at Paris Hilton!

What else do you think should be included in the bail-out bill, before you’d be ok with it passing?

 

Further Sarah Palin credentials September 27, 2008

You guys – how is it possible that this woman is one election and one 72-year-old heartbeat away from running our country.  WHAT IS GOING ON?

Sarah Palin, in the 1984 Miss Alaska Competition.
She couldn’t even win Miss Alaska.  How’s she supposed to be our vice president!?
Miss Congeniality, in the 1984 pageant.

Miss Congeniality, in the 1984 pageant.