Crazy Awesome

Welcome to the antidote.

CHALLENGE TO CONSERVATIVES: Why Palin? October 7, 2008

I genuinely don’t understand the affection for Sarah Palin.  To me she comes across as uninformed, unprepared, ignorant, and condescending to the American people.  But an awful lot of people are rooting for her, and I would like to learn why.

Here’s my challenge to conservatives:  Why do you like Sarah Palin, other than that she’s an “average Joe” that people can relate to? I want to hear why people think she’d make a good vice president, not why people want to have her over for dinner.  Sabes?

INFORM ME!

Why do you like her?  I don't get it!

Why do you like her? I don't get it!

(P.S. Liberals – exercise your right to free speech too!)

 

How Sarah Palin figures out what to say in public… October 6, 2008

See below, for an apt illustration of how Sarah Palin navigates questions in debates and interviews.

If you think it’s not true – look at the stats.  Since Barack named Joe Biden as his running mate, Biden’s done over 100 interviews/debates/etc.  Palin has done three, all of which were total disasters.  You don’t think so?  Hmmm…maybe you don’t remember this hot mess:

It was so rich in satire material that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler clearly couldn’t resist.  Hence last week’s SNL Palin/Couric spoof.

All signs are pointing to (let me hear it now!) Sarah Palin being woefully unprepared for the role of vice president of the United States of America.  You betcha!

(P.S.  Thanks to my Danish buddy Kathrine for the hilarious debate chart!)

 

Tina Fey rips Palin ANOTHER asshole with SNL VP debate spoof. October 5, 2008

I seriously hope Tina Fey gets an Emmy for her comedy work on SNL during the 2008 election.  Because this shit is amazing.  Queen Latifah (as the debate moderator) is such a blunt instrument of an “actress”, and Jason Sedakis (as Joe Biden) was a little obvious too – but who the f@#$ cares, for real.  Tina Fey as Sarah Palin was, as usual, SPOT on.  As my new roomie Joannah said last night, “It’s even funnier b/c half of it is taken verbatim!”  So true, JoJo, so true.

Some of my favorite moments:

 

“I think marriage should be a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers.” (LOL!)

“I love Israel so much.  Bless it’s heart.”

“Oh, are we not doing the talent portion?” (Plays a flute)

“And for all of you Joe-Six-Packs at home playin’ a drinkin’ game: Maverick!” (Takes a ghost-swig.) – this one in particular made us laugh because, as you’ll remember from my vp debate breakdown, we actually tried to PLAY that drinking game. =)  Good times.

 

 

Hustler is making a spoof porn about Sarah Palin. Amazing! October 4, 2008

I love TMZ for these types of tidbits:

Sarah Palin is officially a legend! Hustler Video is shooting a porn with a look-alike titled “Nailin’ Paylin.” The spelling is sic and so is Hustler. You betcha!


The faux Sarah is Lisa Ann, who “will be nailing the Russians who come knocking on her back-door.” In another scene — a flashback — “young Paylin’s creationist college professor will explain a ‘big bang’ theory even she can’t deny!”

There’s also a threeway with Hillary and Condoleezza look-alikes.

The video is in pre-production, but is being fast tracked for release before the election.

The chick they’ve just hired to play Clinton in the three-way is well-known adult film star Nina Hartley. =)

 

I love this firstly because it’s hilarious, and secondly because it goes to the heart of the issue better than any reasoned rant by a political pundit.  Sarah Palin is popular because she’s a MILF.  The men want to do her, the women want to be her, and everyone can imagine sharing a low-cost drink with her – such as a fitty or some boxed wine.  All of which is fine and good, but THOSE ARE NOT THE QUALIFICATIONS FOR A FUTURE VICE PRESIDENT.  Hello!  

Seriously, think about it.  If Hillary Clinton had the qualifications of Sarah Palin, people would laugh her right out of the race.  Don’t even TRY to tell me they wouldn’t, because I would believe you.  Because you’d be lying.  

I’m just saying.

 

Matt Damon discusses the terrifying prospect of a “President Palin”

 

Watch Matt Damon, on CBS, talk about how seriously frightening and absurd it is that Sarah Palin could end up being our next President.  If 72-year old cancer survivor McCain kicks the bucket, we’ll be stuck with someone who believes dinosaurs were around 4,000 years ago against the Vladimir Putins of the world.  I especially love Matt’s comment that it’s like we’re stuck in a really bad Disney movie where the hockey mom becomes president.  He’s right!  This is like Air Bud or something.  Why is this actually happening!?

 

A few quick thoughts on last night’s presidential debate (9/26/08) September 27, 2008

First off, they were both pretty terrible – let’s just be honest.  I’ll give them credit and say it was probably because they spent less time practicing and more time trying to talk our economy off the ledge.  Regardless, they were both stilted and neither of them performed to their ability.  Obama in particular disappointed me, partly because he’s my candidate and I expect more from him, but also because he is normally so articulate and informed.  I saw him taking notes while McCain was speaking, and I was thinking, “Oh good – he’s picking up all these great opportunities to contradict McCain and make a killer point.”  And then…he just spouted off a canned-sounding two minute tangent.  

Other things that annoyed me:

  • McCain does that smile-when-I’m angry thing that makes me so nervous.  That’s totally the type of person who kills you in your sleep.
  • Both candidates talked about needing to “explain things” to other major world powers, such as China and Russia, and “make them understand” how things work.  The hubris there is incredible.  Who are we – after 8 years of the stupidest president we’ve ever known, IRAQ (or eye-rack, as some people know it), an economy that’s on the brink of depression, a political rift that is deeply polarizing our nation, a vice president who shot someone in the face, corruption (hellooooo, Alberto Gonzales) and conservative hypocrite scandals galore (Larry Craig, Mark Foley, SARAH PALIN, anyone?), and I could go on – to tell anyone how anything works?  It’s LUDICROUS.
  • McCain kept saying how Obama “didn’t understand”.  I know McCain is 25 years older than Obama, but that doesn’t make him a child for fuck’s sake.  It just makes him about to die and unfit to lead.  If you’re going to be our next president, have at least enough dignity to treat your political opponent with respect.  At least Obama was enough of a diplomat to point out the ways in which McCain was “correct”, and then show how his point of view around the referenced issue was wrongheaded.  Then Rudy Giuliani, the prick, had the balls to say that McCain taught Obama a lesson in foreign policy, as evidence by his frequent admissions of McCain’s “accurateness.”  
  • The entire argument about sitting down with Iran’s Ahmadinejad.  I just don’t understand WHY it’s even an argument.  How has talking to people we need desperately to better understand ever a bad idea?  What happened to “known thy enemy”, or “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”.  It’s so boneheaded and ignorant to completely rule out any opportunity of the kind, it just makes me want to scream.  I get McCain’s point that you can’t just sit down and say “no you won’t”, when Ahmadinejad declares he’s going to wipe Israel of the face of the planet, but still.  If you can’t have difficult conversations with people who don’t like who are fairly inclined to kill you, you’re not prepared to be a president or a leader.  That’s just my opintion.  

I seriously don’t know what drugs these people are on, but I want some.  Reality just doesn’t appear to be a pressing issue.

In any case, I hope Obama steps up his game.  If we end up with McCain, I’m going to be seriously depressed and might even expatriate.  I can’t deal with another four years of this shame.

UPDATE:  Here’s the full debate, on video.