Crazy Awesome

Welcome to the antidote.

Princesses Fug & Fuglier, at your service. October 3, 2008

Poor Sarah Ferguson.  I’m going to be really sad if my kids are as unfortunate as hers are.  Because let’s face it – there’s no way you can’t take that shit personally.

 

Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie @ the launch of Form, a luxury menswear brand designed by Petra Ecclestone - the 19-year-old daughter of F1 millionaire Bernie Ecclestone.

Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie @ the launch of Form, a luxury menswear brand designed by Petra Ecclestone - the 19-year-old daughter of F1 millionaire Bernie Ecclestone.

At least Eugenie dresses moderately, doesn’t have crazy eyes, and knows to keep her mouth shut.  Princess Beatrice, on the other hand, is dressed in an apron (as befits a redheaded stepchild).  Can’t she afford a stylist?  I don’t understand!

 

I’m LOVING the crazy-tall high heel trend. More, I say, MORE! September 29, 2008

The women of Hollywood are in an arms race, ladies and gentlemen, and deadly-tall high heels are the weapons of choice.  I’m loving it.  First of all, they look sexy as HELL.  Second of all, how much FUN it is to watch all these ridiculously rich, gorgeous, famous celebrities teeter around in ever more ridiculous footwear?

First, Gwyneth hit the Iron Man promotional world tour in like 12 pairs of ridiculous stilettos.  There were a few of the best:

 

Alexander McQueen stilettos.

Alexander McQueen stilettos.

I love the $820 nude lace-print stilettos by Italian designer Giuseppe Zanotti.

I love the $820 nude lace-print stilettos by Italian designer Giuseppe Zanotti.

The Burberry black lace-up patent leather stilettos are my fave.  Sexy, no?

The Burberry black lace-up patent leather stilettos are my fave. Sexy, no?

 

Then Lily Allen decided to bring it:  

 

What's up, bitches?

What's up bitches?

 

And again, with these delicious creations:  

 

Cesare Paciotti Harlequin Platforms.  Gorgeous!

Cesare Paciotti Harlequin Platforms. Gorgeous!

 

And THEN, Posh Spice was like, “Fuck all y’all,” and launched her fragrance in these.  They’re so high, there IS NO HEEL!  

 

Heel-less boots by English-Italian designer Berardi.

Heel-less boots by English-Italian designer Berardi.

 

Awesome.

 

What I would do to be in the middle of THAT sexy sandwich.

I can’t handle the hotness.

Lily Allen (singer, drunky, high-heel-wearing cutiepie), Dita Von Teese (Burlesque Dancer/Model, Fashion Glamazon, Lingerie Designer), Katy Perry (modern starlet, desired of lesbians galore), and Emma Watson (Hermione!), @ yesterday’s Christian Dior Ready-to-Wear collection show.

 

Fugalicious Fergie-spawn

Ok.  I don’t mean to be mean, but seriously: Princess Beatrice is NOT CUTE.

Witness and be converted:

 

This weekend, at a London pub w/ friends.

This weekend, at a London pub w/ friends.

Not convinced?  Here’s further proof that the the Duchess of York’s daughter is something of a butter face. 

 

Beatrice and her mom, Fergie.

Beatrice and her mom, Fergie.

Don’t princesses get etiquette lessons?  WHY IS HER MOUTH ALWAYS OPEN?

 

Posh launches new perfume in crazy tall pleather boots September 28, 2008

Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham, and her husband of nine years – international soccer star David Beckham, launched their matching new perfumes today at the Macy’s at Herald Square (NYC).  There was such a clamor to see them at the Beckham Signature Perfume launch that the crowds apparently stopped traffic.  One look at Posh, though, and you’ll understand why:

 

Um...HOW IS SHE STANDING UP?

Um...HOW IS SHE STANDING UP?

Here’s a closer look at the madness that is Posh:

I wonder how many burly, muscle-bound, dextrous men it took her to get into those boots.  They are UNREASONABLY tight.  

But hot.  It’s true.

The boots were designed by English-Italian designer Berardi, a long-time friend of the Beckhams who also made their post-wedding outfits nine years ago.  The 40-year old fashionista says that while the women are often daunted at first, they walk out feeling like they’re wearing a normal (well, normal 5 & 1/2″) high-heeled shoe.  Says Berardi, “They’re perfectly balanced”.