Crazy Awesome

Welcome to the antidote.

Hillary Clinton on last night’s VP debate. October 3, 2008

Hillary Clinton is such a diplomat!  Hilarious.  Check out what she had to say about the two candidates for VP, below:

My roomies and I totally think he's handsome in an older guy kind of way.

My roomies and I totally think he's handsome in an older guy kind of way.

On Joe Biden:

She said, “Joe Biden was great. He put forward a flawless performance. I, like probably everybody else watching, was so moved by the authentic grief that caught in his throat when he talked about his own personal experience.”

Clinton is referring to Joe’s statement last night that he knew what it was like to raise children as a single parent, and that Palin should never question that.  His wife and daughter were killed years ago in a car accident that also severely injured his two sons.

I really hope I don't have to look at this face for four more years.

I really hope I don't have to look at this face for four more years.

On Sarah Palin:

“I think she’s very good. I always thought she would do well. It’s amazing. She’s been thrust into the national spotlight with very little preparation.”

Translation: “I can’t believe this stupid, small-town bitch is still on the ticket.  She has no experience.  At all. Why, God, WHY?”

Pretty funny, right?  

Do you think Biden was a better choice than Clinton, or the other way around?


Princesses Fug & Fuglier, at your service.

Poor Sarah Ferguson.  I’m going to be really sad if my kids are as unfortunate as hers are.  Because let’s face it – there’s no way you can’t take that shit personally.


Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie @ the launch of Form, a luxury menswear brand designed by Petra Ecclestone - the 19-year-old daughter of F1 millionaire Bernie Ecclestone.

Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie @ the launch of Form, a luxury menswear brand designed by Petra Ecclestone - the 19-year-old daughter of F1 millionaire Bernie Ecclestone.

At least Eugenie dresses moderately, doesn’t have crazy eyes, and knows to keep her mouth shut.  Princess Beatrice, on the other hand, is dressed in an apron (as befits a redheaded stepchild).  Can’t she afford a stylist?  I don’t understand!


Biden is the clear winner, as those polled declare Palin “less intelligent”.

Woot!  The stats are in, and all the media outlets are reporting Biden’s “win” in last night’s vice presidential debate – in many cases by a margin of more than 20 points!  Here are some of the deets (note: poll based on questions asked 611 adult Americans after the debate):

  • 26% said that Palin came across as more intelligent, while 56% thought Biden was smarter.  DUH.
  • 51% thought that Biden did the best overall in the debate, while 36% gave that honor to Palin.
  • 87% of those polled said they thought Joe Biden was qualified to be president, should the case arise.  Only 46% thought that Palin could do the job!
  • 84% said that Palin did better than they expected her to.  Well, that makes sense, given that Republicans have been relying on a tactic for the past 8 years of building super-low expectations so that mediocre performances “suprise” viewers with their “excellence”.  Anyone for some W.?
  • 43% of viewers thought that Biden spent more time attacking his opponent, while 36% thought it was Palin who challenged Biden more.  What happened to being a lipstick-wearing bulldog there, Sarah?  Guess next time you’ll have to think on your feet a bit more instead of regurgitating what your speechwriters have force fed you.  Shame.
  • 53% of debate watchers reported that Joe Biden seemed more likely to bring actual change to the White House.  Only 42% of people thought Palin had a chance of doing the same.

I wish there were more vice presidential debates!  Palin is SUCH an easy target for Biden, it’s almost shameful…but delicious!


The $700 billion bail-out bill has been signed into law.

Just a few hours ago, President Bush signed the highly contentious $700 “bail-out” bill into law, after it passed in the House by a margin of 108 votes.  The bill, which gives Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson the right to purchase up to $700 billion of “troubled assets”, is intended to help prop up the U.S. economy and prevent a further financial landslide.  Said Bush today, “By coming together on this legislation, we have acted boldly to prevent the crisis on Wall Street from becoming a crisis in communities across our country.”

Looks like the top member of the party that has long espoused small government, no government interference, deregulation, and completely free market capitalism is having to tuck his tail between his legs.

Although I imagine it will help our markets, if only by improving consumer confidence, I’m not a big fan of the fact that I’m being forced to pay between $3000-$5000 to socialize half of Wall Street.  The greedy bastards (our government, finance head honchos) should’ve had the foresight to prevent this crisis in the first place, and I’m of the opinion that unlimited cash + no rules = hot mess.  That’s why trust fund kids are always such total fuck-ups.  Looks like Wall Street just tapped into its trust fund.

Says Ben Bernanke, the Federal Reserve Chairman, “The legislation is a critical step toward stabilizing our financial markets and ensuring an uninterrupted flow of credit to households and businesses.”  Let’s hope this is true, and someone other than Giant Corp. X feels the benefits of this bill.

I do have to say that I’m disappointed in the members of the House, although it was my folly to expect something noble of them in the first place.  But when the bill didn’t pass on Monday, my friends and I thought, “Oh my God!  Our representatives are REPRESENTING us!  What a concept!”  Alas.  They were just looking for an opportunity to turn the bill into the biggest Christmas tree of all time, full of random – and expensive – earmarks.  Here are a few of my favorites:

  • An excise tax excemption for a very specific type of arrow used by child archers that will cost taxpayers $2million over 10 years.
  • Allowing production companies to write off the cost of making movies, which will cost taxpayers about $498million over 10 years.  Since Hollywood definitely doesn’t make enough money as it is…
  • A tax break on rum from Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands that will cost taxpayers $192million.

What I really want to know is whether the bill that passed includes any of the limitations Barack Obama was pushing for, including help for people who can’t pay their mortgages, limits on executive salaries, and giving the public a stake in the businesses we’re saving.

Let’s hope this works, folks, or we’re fucked.


“Drill, baby, drill!” (or) My Thoughts on Last Night’s VP Debate.

Joe Biden totally whupped Sarah Palin’s “Joe Six-Pack” ASS last night, and I loved every freaking moment of it.  She was everything I hoped she would(n’t) be, and MORE.

Biden made all of his points brilliantly.

Biden made all of his points brilliantly.

First of all, here’s why I thought Joe Biden rocked the casbah: the main complaint against him so far is that he doesn’t show enough discipline. In last night’s debate, however, he was even-keeled, respectful, diplomatic, and he toed the party line.  I also appreciate that he actually answered every question put to him, by the moderator or by Palin, in an intelligent, reasoned manner that typically included a bullet-point breakdown.  He didn’t give anyone room to say he treated Palin as less than an equal due to her inexperience, her lack of a capitol hill job, or her sex – something I give him major props for.  If I’d been on a stage with that buzz-word spewing, self-proclaimed bulldog, I would NOT have been able to keep a straight face.  Biden came across as charming, highly informed and educated, explanatory in a way that wasn’t condescending (something Barack needs to work on), and as a real person.  The last part was particularly crucial in an election that has become completely about the personal narrative and relatability of the candidates (thanks, Republicans.  Issues and policy are definitely not more important, right?).

He even managed to have an extremely poignant moment where he described his experience raising children by himself after the death of his first wife and daughter, and it was honest.  He got a little choked up, and so did we.  Most importantly, it didn’t ring of political pandering, the way Palin’s seriously unfortunate use of her son Trig does.

She doesn't even LIKE Trig.  It's pretty clear her pregnant 17-year old daughter Bristol is going to be raising this child.

She doesn't even LIKE Trig. It's pretty clear her pregnant 17-year old daughter Bristol is going to be raising this child.

Also, as a bisexual woman, I really appreciated Biden clearly stating that he would fight for gay couples to have all the same constitutional rights as straight couples, including rights of ownership, property, insurance, inheritance, and hospital visitation.  Thank you!

Biden & Palin, at the 10/4/08 Vice Presidential Debate @ Washington University in St. Louis, MO.

Biden & Palin, at the 10/4/08 Vice Presidential Debate @ Washington University in St. Louis, MO.

Lastly, I enjoyed the fact that Joe Biden didn’t try and mold himself into a double of Barack Obama.  He clearly has his own voice, his own opinion, and his own judgements – none of which makes him a “maverick” (God, I’m so sick of that word), it just makes him a good leader and a good politician.  He pointed out that, where it matters – on the major issues, he an Obama are in agreement.  He also mentioned that Barack chose him in part because he thinks healthy debate leads to more reasoned and effective leadership and legislation.

Now to Sarah Palin’s performance.  The following were some of my favorite moments in last night’s debate:

  • Palin clearly memorized her answers, but obviously not enough of them.  The entire debate she “answered” every question by saying something short and sweet like, “Well, I take issue with that,” and then backtracking immediately to energy policy, troops in Iraq, or tax cuts – the three things her people had drilled mercilessly into that narrow little mind of hers.  About 20 mintues into the debate, Biden actually called her on not answering any of the questions (I believe they were talking about health care), to which she promptly…DIDN’T ANSWER THE QUESTION.  AGAIN.  I was flabbergasted.
  • She was the queen of buzzwords.  My roommates and I tried to take a drink every time she said any of the following words, but realized after about 5 minutes that we’d soon be too sloshed to understand the rest of the debate: fear, patriotism, John McCain, John McCain, heating up the economy, tax cuts, what’s good for the American people, around the kitchen table, we must win the war, win, fear, security, war,  John McCain, maverick, energy sources in my state, fear, patriotism, John McCain, security.
  • When asked, “What promises are  you going to have to go back on since the event of the $700 billion dollar bail-out plan?”, Palin answered, “Well, I’ve only been at this about three weeks.  I haven’t made many promises to go back on.  What I will promise is to do what’s right for the American people.”  What garbage.  Also, way to point out that you have roughly three weeks of experience.
  • When asked if she would have voted along with McCain, two years ago, to make it more difficult for average Americans to declare bankruptcy and get out from under the strain of their impossible mortgages, she said, “Well, yes, but lots of things have changed in the past three weeks.”  Did it occur to anyone that if they had thought about these things two years ago, we might not BE IN the current financial crisis?  HELLO!
  • When asked about the causes and solution of global warming, she babbled something to the effect of, “I don’t want to argue about the causes of it…I’m not someone to blame every activity of’s activity…but how we’re going to positively change the impacts of change.”  It was SUCH a run-around that it was unbelievable.  She was toeing the party line hardcore, taking the typical Republican stance of, “It’s my GOD-GIVEN right as a HUMAN BEING to do WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT TO, whether that involves aerosol, hummers, drilling in the Alaskan wilderness, or shooting my friends in the face.”  When it was Biden’s turn to respond, he went right for the throat with one simple sentence: “If you don’t understand the cause of something, it’s virtually impossible to find the solution.  MAN is the cause.” Brilliant.
No seriously.  This could be our next VP.

No seriously. This could be our next VP.

  • Palin literally said that the “chant we hear all over the country is ‘drill, baby, drill!”, because people are “so hungry to tap into those alternative energy sources.”  I’m pretty sure off-shore drilling and drilling in the Alaskan wilderness are not what people are talking about when they refer to “alternative energy souces”.  I’m pretty sure they mean wind power, solar power, nuclear power, and better fuel alternatives.  Drill, baby, drill!?  REALLY!!?
  • Palin blatantly said, pandering to the fundamentalists who are the foundation of her party, that she is against gay marraige.  Hilariously enough, when trying to say she’s tolerant of people making their own choices, she actually said, “I’ll be anything but tolerant of adults in America choosing who they want to be with.”  Lol.  Freudian slip, much?
  • She harped endlessly on our need to win in Iraq.  Here’s my question: WIN WHAT? Can any of you think of what the Iraqi uniform looks like?  Oh right, we’re not fighting THEM, we’re fighting “terrorists”.  The whole thing is such a gigantic load of stinking crap it makes me sick to my stomach.  We’re just killing their people and creating a breeding ground for fundamentalism.  It is, after all, what we’re good at.  Look at our own country!
  • While we’re on the subject, I’m really tired about hearing how Barack Obama “voted against funding for the troops”, like that’s some definitive proof he’s anti-American.  John McCain ALSO voted against funding for the troops, as Joe Biden pointed out.  The only difference was that one bill had a timeline for withdrawl from Iraq (the one Barack voted for), and one of them didn’t (the one McCain voted for).  So SHUT UP about it already, for the love of Christ.
  • She really did say NUCULER.  A lot.  She repeated it over and over.  The bitch doesn’t know what she’s TALKING ABOUT!
  • Does anyone know who AHCKmadinejad is?  OH…was she talking about Mamoud Ahmadinejad, the current president of the Islamic Republic of Iran?  *sigh* She also spoke to the threat that Afghanistan is currently posing, saying one way she would combat the issue is by “building our embassy in Israel”.  Yeah, since that’s definitely going to make everything better.  She is so uninformed!  Isn’t anyone concerned about her being a hop, skip, and a heartbeat away from running our country?  ANYONE?!
Mamoud Ahmadinejad, controversially speaking at Columbia University in NYC on 9/24/07.

Mamoud Ahmadinejad, controversially speaking at Columbia University in NYC on 9/24/07.

  • When asked about her foreign policy experience (other than the fact that she can “see Russia from where she lives”), Palin basically said, “well I had a great discussion with Henry Kissinger the other day.”  You can’t have foreign policy experince by proxy, Sarah.  It doesn’t work that way.
  • When discussing the current state of economy, and responding to Biden’s (accurate) claim that much of the issue is the result of Bush – and McCain’s – consistent policy of deregulation, Palin said, “Well, for a campaign that says they’re about change, there just seems to be an awful lot of finger-pointing backwards.  That’s not going to help.  But change is coming!  WE’RE going to do what’s right for the American people!”  (the last bit is a paraphrase…I didn’t get every single word).  She always speaks as if she’s addressing a 5th grade class!  Admittedly, that’s probably a brilliant tactic considering the intelligence and education of most of America, but STILL.  She doesn’t even try to raise the level of discourse in her country.  She propogates the mediocracy. Biden wisely responded to that load of gibberish by saying, “Past is prologue,” and we need to understand what went wrong in order to be able to move forward.
  • She really did a SHOUT-OUT.  No seriously, in the most somber of forums, she did a mf SHOUT-OUT.  I couldn’t believe it.
See?  I'm winking!  Don't you love me?  Don't you wish I was sitting at YOUR kitchen table?

See? I'm winking! Don't you love me? Don't you wish I was sitting at YOUR kitchen table?

  • When asked by the moderator if she agreed with Dick Cheney that the Vice President is not part of the Executive Branch and is instead powerful in its own right, she said she was “grateful that the constitution allows the vice president more power if that person wants it.”  Um, NO IT DOESN’T. Biden promptly corrected her, pointing out that the constitution clearly limits the vice president’s power to voting in case of a tie, and only then.  Other than that, the vp’s role is to advise the president on policy when advice is sought.  I can’t BELIEVE she AGREED with Dick Cheney!
  • She described the supporters of McCain/Palin as having “a diverse background of policy and partisanship.” Ha! SOMEONE GET THIS WOMAN A DICTIONARY, and PRONTO!

In any case, I sincerely hope Americans can get back on track about what presidents and vice presidents should be.  Admittedly, I’m not the authority on this topic.  I do, however, know that I don’t want a vice president who is, as Mrs. Palin describes herself, “a Joe six-pack Amercian”.  I don’t want someone who can pronounce neither foreign leaders’ names nor the NUCLEAR weapons their countries are currently working to produce.  I don’t CARE if I can relate to them!  I want someone who is articulate, and a leader.  Someone who is well-educated, understands diplomacy and debate, who is well-informed.  Someone who understands that foreign policy experience is about more than physical proximity to a foreign country.

Basically, I want Barack Obama and Joe Biden.


Oh, Karl Lagerfeld. October 1, 2008

It’s good to know the old coot still has a sense of humor.

Part of the Karl Lagerfeld RTW Spring 2009 Collection, at Paris Fashion Week today.

Part of the Karl Lagerfeld RTW Spring 2009 Collection, at Paris Fashion Week today.

This collection is totally Aeon Flux, don’t you think?

Miss Charlize would look sick in this!

Miss Charlize is the only person I can think of who might be able to make this look work. Ready to wear, my ass.

See what I mean?

See what I mean?


Good signs and bad as the Dow sees significant Tuesday gains September 30, 2008

I think most of us yesterday were poised to empty out our 401Ks and stuff the cash under our matresses, as the Dow Jones suffered it’s largest point (not percent) drop in history – 778 points, or roughly 7%.  Everyone freaked out when Congress (thankfully!) didn’t pass the $700 billion bail-out bill that Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke proposed last week after the collapse of Lehman Brothers and several other key Wall Street players.

Bernanke and Paulson.

Bernanke and Paulson.

One thing Americans do well, however, is keep the faith.  We hoped it would get better, and today is has:  the Dow went back up 485.21, a gain of 4.7%.  Several other vital indicators rose as well: the S&P 500 index recovered 58.35, or 5.3%, and the Nasdaq composite index rose 98.60, or 5.0%.

There is speculation that this recovery is mostly due to a belief that a new bail-out bill will pass on Thursday, when Congress meets again.  This belief is significantly rooted in the fact that the credit sector, where most of this crisis finds its origins, is still showing no sign of relief.  In fact, the benchmark London Interbank Offered Rate, or LIBOR, that banks charge to lend to one another rose sharply, making it more expensive and difficult for consumers and businesses to borrow money.

Hopefully if and when a “bail-out” bill does pass, it will include to some degree the following provisitions, rather than giving Bush’s treasury secretary carte blanche to use taxpayer’s (our!) money:

  • Limits on executive salaries: There is no reason we should be paying for so-and-so CEO’s house in the Hampton’s when he/she presided over one of the US’s biggest finacial crises EVER.
  • Compensation for the public:  Why would we care to save these greedy companies, who showed no regard for the average consumer when they offered sub-prime mortgages, etc., when we don’t even have the possibility of benefiting from their salvage.  I want STOCKS.
  • More regulation: I’m not a fan of the socialist nanny-state, but at the same time, the Republican policy of “less government is better government” has bit us in the ass for eight years running.  Let’s get some rules in there folks.  Infinite cash + no boundaries is ALWAYS a bad idea.  Just look at Paris Hilton!

What else do you think should be included in the bail-out bill, before you’d be ok with it passing?