Crazy Awesome

Welcome to the antidote.

Stars come out for Women In Hollywood Tribute October 7, 2008

The ladies really came together last night for Elle magazine’s 15th annual Women in Hollywood Tribute.  Some of them were as fashion fabulous as always, while others were … not.  Let the glamour begin:

“HOT” COUTURE:

Nicole Kidman, in a gorgeous green dress & salmon heels.  My favorite part, however, is the stylish oversized clutch!

Nicole Kidman, in a gorgeous green dress & salmon heels. My favorite part, however, is the stylish over-sized clutch!

Anne Hathaway, stunning as usual.

Anne Hathaway, stunning as usual. Check out the foxy shoes!

Halle Berry.  The dress is a bit unusual, and not doing amazing things for her post-Nahla tummy.  That being said, it's a beautiful silhouette, something the red carpet hasn't seen, and - of course - she's pulling it off.

Halle Berry. The dress is a bit unusual, and not doing amazing things for her post-Nahla tummy. That being said, it's a beautiful silhouette, something the red carpet hasn't seen, and - of course - she's pulling it off.

NOT COUTURE:

This dress is sooooooo boring, shapeless, unflattering, and unfashionable.  Also, I'm sort of just sick of Eva Mendes' FACE.

TThis dress is sooooooo boring, shapeless, unflattering, and unfashionable. Also, I'm sort of just sick of Eva Mendes' FACE.

It's not so much that I hate this dress as that I hate Nicolette Sheridan.  She has such a nasty, conniving face.  She also doesn't know how to carry herself.  No matter what she's wearing, it reads "I'm a cougar.  I'm still sexy.  Do me!"  Gross.

It's not so much that I hate this dress as that I hate Nicolette Sheridan. She has such a nasty, conniving face. She also doesn't know how to carry herself. No matter what she's wearing, it reads "I'm a cougar. I'm still sexy. Do me!" Gross.

Ok - this one is totally the dress' fault.  I love Jenny McCarthy, but there is too much happening on this dress.  It looks she intercepted some curtains bound for a Victorian museum somewhere.  Suffocating and overly elaborate.

Ok - this one is totally the dress' fault. I love Jenny McCarthy, but there is too much happening on this dress. It looks she intercepted some curtains bound for a Victorian museum somewhere. Suffocating and overly elaborate.

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How Sarah Palin figures out what to say in public… October 6, 2008

See below, for an apt illustration of how Sarah Palin navigates questions in debates and interviews.

If you think it’s not true – look at the stats.  Since Barack named Joe Biden as his running mate, Biden’s done over 100 interviews/debates/etc.  Palin has done three, all of which were total disasters.  You don’t think so?  Hmmm…maybe you don’t remember this hot mess:

It was so rich in satire material that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler clearly couldn’t resist.  Hence last week’s SNL Palin/Couric spoof.

All signs are pointing to (let me hear it now!) Sarah Palin being woefully unprepared for the role of vice president of the United States of America.  You betcha!

(P.S.  Thanks to my Danish buddy Kathrine for the hilarious debate chart!)

 

Who does Sarah Brightman think she is? October 5, 2008

I was surfing a minute ago, and I came across the following promotional pictures for Sarah Brightman’s new album, “A Winter Symphony”.  She is in such hardcore denial about getting older, for real.  Not only that, but the older she gets, the trashier she gets.  Check out the awesomely fake hair, for example.

Sexy braids there, Sarah. SUPER sexy.

Ok, and guys – she’s 48 years old.  This is the bitch that “The Phantom of the Opera” was WRITTEN for.  In 1986.  I was three.  And check this out:

 

This is one of those pics that make you nervous, because you can't TELL if you're seeing nipple or not.  WHY?

This is one of those pics that make you nervous, because you can't TELL if you're seeing nipple or not. WHY?

I thought her last album cover was bad.  I mean, she has a rockin’ body, no doubt.  But she also hires people to airbrush the SHIT out of her photos.

 

The back cover of Sarah Brightman's 2001 album, "Classics".

The back cover of Sarah Brightman's 2001 album, "Classics".

I can’t take it for real.  And her music is CRAP.  I’m sorry – I really tried.  And I like musical theatre.  In fact I went and saw Spring Awakening on Broadway today.  It won the Tony in 2007, and I’ve been dying to see it since I moved here.  Hunter Parrish, who plays Silas on “Weeds”, is playing the lead right now – and he did a fabulous job and is actually a really talented singer.  Who knew!  He’s so cute too.  I just can’t quit him.  

(This is him…)

 

Parrish on "Weeds", with costars Mary Louise Parker and Alexander Gould.

Parrish on "Weeds", with his costars Mary Louise Parker (love!) and Alexander Gould.

 …

 

Back to the point.  Sarah Brightman is working really, really hard for such terrible, pointless “pop” music.  

Do like her?

 

Tina Fey rips Palin ANOTHER asshole with SNL VP debate spoof.

I seriously hope Tina Fey gets an Emmy for her comedy work on SNL during the 2008 election.  Because this shit is amazing.  Queen Latifah (as the debate moderator) is such a blunt instrument of an “actress”, and Jason Sedakis (as Joe Biden) was a little obvious too – but who the f@#$ cares, for real.  Tina Fey as Sarah Palin was, as usual, SPOT on.  As my new roomie Joannah said last night, “It’s even funnier b/c half of it is taken verbatim!”  So true, JoJo, so true.

Some of my favorite moments:

 

“I think marriage should be a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers.” (LOL!)

“I love Israel so much.  Bless it’s heart.”

“Oh, are we not doing the talent portion?” (Plays a flute)

“And for all of you Joe-Six-Packs at home playin’ a drinkin’ game: Maverick!” (Takes a ghost-swig.) – this one in particular made us laugh because, as you’ll remember from my vp debate breakdown, we actually tried to PLAY that drinking game. =)  Good times.

 

 

Brooke Hogan has no taste, continued… October 3, 2008

White trash runs in the Hogan family.

Check out Brooke Hogan, at the Bejeweled Swimwear show on October 1st.

Why won't someone LOVE ME, already!?

Why won't someone just LOVE ME, already?!

Take note, all you tan-a-holics: too much fake tanning makes you look like you’re 20 years older than you are!  No one wants to date a leather face.

 

(P.S.  Did you guys see that her mom was recently arrested for speeding, 20 miles over the limit?  No joke.  And this is after her son got in such a huge speeding wreck his best friend, 22-year old John Graziano, is in a coma and will likely remain so.  What a f@#$ing douchebag.)

 

Trash, trash, trash.

Trash, trash, trash.

 

Hillary Clinton on last night’s VP debate.

Hillary Clinton is such a diplomat!  Hilarious.  Check out what she had to say about the two candidates for VP, below:

My roomies and I totally think he's handsome in an older guy kind of way.

My roomies and I totally think he's handsome in an older guy kind of way.

On Joe Biden:

She said, “Joe Biden was great. He put forward a flawless performance. I, like probably everybody else watching, was so moved by the authentic grief that caught in his throat when he talked about his own personal experience.”

Clinton is referring to Joe’s statement last night that he knew what it was like to raise children as a single parent, and that Palin should never question that.  His wife and daughter were killed years ago in a car accident that also severely injured his two sons.

I really hope I don't have to look at this face for four more years.

I really hope I don't have to look at this face for four more years.

On Sarah Palin:

“I think she’s very good. I always thought she would do well. It’s amazing. She’s been thrust into the national spotlight with very little preparation.”

Translation: “I can’t believe this stupid, small-town bitch is still on the ticket.  She has no experience.  At all. Why, God, WHY?”

Pretty funny, right?  

Do you think Biden was a better choice than Clinton, or the other way around?

 

Princesses Fug & Fuglier, at your service.

Poor Sarah Ferguson.  I’m going to be really sad if my kids are as unfortunate as hers are.  Because let’s face it – there’s no way you can’t take that shit personally.

 

Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie @ the launch of Form, a luxury menswear brand designed by Petra Ecclestone - the 19-year-old daughter of F1 millionaire Bernie Ecclestone.

Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie @ the launch of Form, a luxury menswear brand designed by Petra Ecclestone - the 19-year-old daughter of F1 millionaire Bernie Ecclestone.

At least Eugenie dresses moderately, doesn’t have crazy eyes, and knows to keep her mouth shut.  Princess Beatrice, on the other hand, is dressed in an apron (as befits a redheaded stepchild).  Can’t she afford a stylist?  I don’t understand!