Crazy Awesome

Welcome to the antidote.

Stars come out for Women In Hollywood Tribute October 7, 2008

The ladies really came together last night for Elle magazine’s 15th annual Women in Hollywood Tribute.  Some of them were as fashion fabulous as always, while others were … not.  Let the glamour begin:

“HOT” COUTURE:

Nicole Kidman, in a gorgeous green dress & salmon heels.  My favorite part, however, is the stylish oversized clutch!

Nicole Kidman, in a gorgeous green dress & salmon heels. My favorite part, however, is the stylish over-sized clutch!

Anne Hathaway, stunning as usual.

Anne Hathaway, stunning as usual. Check out the foxy shoes!

Halle Berry.  The dress is a bit unusual, and not doing amazing things for her post-Nahla tummy.  That being said, it's a beautiful silhouette, something the red carpet hasn't seen, and - of course - she's pulling it off.

Halle Berry. The dress is a bit unusual, and not doing amazing things for her post-Nahla tummy. That being said, it's a beautiful silhouette, something the red carpet hasn't seen, and - of course - she's pulling it off.

NOT COUTURE:

This dress is sooooooo boring, shapeless, unflattering, and unfashionable.  Also, I'm sort of just sick of Eva Mendes' FACE.

TThis dress is sooooooo boring, shapeless, unflattering, and unfashionable. Also, I'm sort of just sick of Eva Mendes' FACE.

It's not so much that I hate this dress as that I hate Nicolette Sheridan.  She has such a nasty, conniving face.  She also doesn't know how to carry herself.  No matter what she's wearing, it reads "I'm a cougar.  I'm still sexy.  Do me!"  Gross.

It's not so much that I hate this dress as that I hate Nicolette Sheridan. She has such a nasty, conniving face. She also doesn't know how to carry herself. No matter what she's wearing, it reads "I'm a cougar. I'm still sexy. Do me!" Gross.

Ok - this one is totally the dress' fault.  I love Jenny McCarthy, but there is too much happening on this dress.  It looks she intercepted some curtains bound for a Victorian museum somewhere.  Suffocating and overly elaborate.

Ok - this one is totally the dress' fault. I love Jenny McCarthy, but there is too much happening on this dress. It looks she intercepted some curtains bound for a Victorian museum somewhere. Suffocating and overly elaborate.

 

How Sarah Palin figures out what to say in public… October 6, 2008

See below, for an apt illustration of how Sarah Palin navigates questions in debates and interviews.

If you think it’s not true – look at the stats.  Since Barack named Joe Biden as his running mate, Biden’s done over 100 interviews/debates/etc.  Palin has done three, all of which were total disasters.  You don’t think so?  Hmmm…maybe you don’t remember this hot mess:

It was so rich in satire material that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler clearly couldn’t resist.  Hence last week’s SNL Palin/Couric spoof.

All signs are pointing to (let me hear it now!) Sarah Palin being woefully unprepared for the role of vice president of the United States of America.  You betcha!

(P.S.  Thanks to my Danish buddy Kathrine for the hilarious debate chart!)

 

Who does Sarah Brightman think she is? October 5, 2008

I was surfing a minute ago, and I came across the following promotional pictures for Sarah Brightman’s new album, “A Winter Symphony”.  She is in such hardcore denial about getting older, for real.  Not only that, but the older she gets, the trashier she gets.  Check out the awesomely fake hair, for example.

Sexy braids there, Sarah. SUPER sexy.

Ok, and guys – she’s 48 years old.  This is the bitch that “The Phantom of the Opera” was WRITTEN for.  In 1986.  I was three.  And check this out:

 

This is one of those pics that make you nervous, because you can't TELL if you're seeing nipple or not.  WHY?

This is one of those pics that make you nervous, because you can't TELL if you're seeing nipple or not. WHY?

I thought her last album cover was bad.  I mean, she has a rockin’ body, no doubt.  But she also hires people to airbrush the SHIT out of her photos.

 

The back cover of Sarah Brightman's 2001 album, "Classics".

The back cover of Sarah Brightman's 2001 album, "Classics".

I can’t take it for real.  And her music is CRAP.  I’m sorry – I really tried.  And I like musical theatre.  In fact I went and saw Spring Awakening on Broadway today.  It won the Tony in 2007, and I’ve been dying to see it since I moved here.  Hunter Parrish, who plays Silas on “Weeds”, is playing the lead right now – and he did a fabulous job and is actually a really talented singer.  Who knew!  He’s so cute too.  I just can’t quit him.  

(This is him…)

 

Parrish on "Weeds", with costars Mary Louise Parker and Alexander Gould.

Parrish on "Weeds", with his costars Mary Louise Parker (love!) and Alexander Gould.

 …

 

Back to the point.  Sarah Brightman is working really, really hard for such terrible, pointless “pop” music.  

Do like her?

 

Tina Fey rips Palin ANOTHER asshole with SNL VP debate spoof.

I seriously hope Tina Fey gets an Emmy for her comedy work on SNL during the 2008 election.  Because this shit is amazing.  Queen Latifah (as the debate moderator) is such a blunt instrument of an “actress”, and Jason Sedakis (as Joe Biden) was a little obvious too – but who the f@#$ cares, for real.  Tina Fey as Sarah Palin was, as usual, SPOT on.  As my new roomie Joannah said last night, “It’s even funnier b/c half of it is taken verbatim!”  So true, JoJo, so true.

Some of my favorite moments:

 

“I think marriage should be a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers.” (LOL!)

“I love Israel so much.  Bless it’s heart.”

“Oh, are we not doing the talent portion?” (Plays a flute)

“And for all of you Joe-Six-Packs at home playin’ a drinkin’ game: Maverick!” (Takes a ghost-swig.) – this one in particular made us laugh because, as you’ll remember from my vp debate breakdown, we actually tried to PLAY that drinking game. =)  Good times.

 

 

Blast from the past: Pearl as The Landlord October 4, 2008

Another of my favorite videos.  Watch and enjoy Will Ferrell & Pearl, from FunnyorDie.com.

 

Hustler is making a spoof porn about Sarah Palin. Amazing!

I love TMZ for these types of tidbits:

Sarah Palin is officially a legend! Hustler Video is shooting a porn with a look-alike titled “Nailin’ Paylin.” The spelling is sic and so is Hustler. You betcha!


The faux Sarah is Lisa Ann, who “will be nailing the Russians who come knocking on her back-door.” In another scene — a flashback — “young Paylin’s creationist college professor will explain a ‘big bang’ theory even she can’t deny!”

There’s also a threeway with Hillary and Condoleezza look-alikes.

The video is in pre-production, but is being fast tracked for release before the election.

The chick they’ve just hired to play Clinton in the three-way is well-known adult film star Nina Hartley. =)

 

I love this firstly because it’s hilarious, and secondly because it goes to the heart of the issue better than any reasoned rant by a political pundit.  Sarah Palin is popular because she’s a MILF.  The men want to do her, the women want to be her, and everyone can imagine sharing a low-cost drink with her – such as a fitty or some boxed wine.  All of which is fine and good, but THOSE ARE NOT THE QUALIFICATIONS FOR A FUTURE VICE PRESIDENT.  Hello!  

Seriously, think about it.  If Hillary Clinton had the qualifications of Sarah Palin, people would laugh her right out of the race.  Don’t even TRY to tell me they wouldn’t, because I would believe you.  Because you’d be lying.  

I’m just saying.

 

Hilarious Video: 3rd Race at the Honeymoon is Over Downs

You must watch this.  It’s pretty priceless.