Crazy Awesome

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Stars come out for Women In Hollywood Tribute October 7, 2008

The ladies really came together last night for Elle magazine’s 15th annual Women in Hollywood Tribute.  Some of them were as fashion fabulous as always, while others were … not.  Let the glamour begin:

“HOT” COUTURE:

Nicole Kidman, in a gorgeous green dress & salmon heels.  My favorite part, however, is the stylish oversized clutch!

Nicole Kidman, in a gorgeous green dress & salmon heels. My favorite part, however, is the stylish over-sized clutch!

Anne Hathaway, stunning as usual.

Anne Hathaway, stunning as usual. Check out the foxy shoes!

Halle Berry.  The dress is a bit unusual, and not doing amazing things for her post-Nahla tummy.  That being said, it's a beautiful silhouette, something the red carpet hasn't seen, and - of course - she's pulling it off.

Halle Berry. The dress is a bit unusual, and not doing amazing things for her post-Nahla tummy. That being said, it's a beautiful silhouette, something the red carpet hasn't seen, and - of course - she's pulling it off.

NOT COUTURE:

This dress is sooooooo boring, shapeless, unflattering, and unfashionable.  Also, I'm sort of just sick of Eva Mendes' FACE.

TThis dress is sooooooo boring, shapeless, unflattering, and unfashionable. Also, I'm sort of just sick of Eva Mendes' FACE.

It's not so much that I hate this dress as that I hate Nicolette Sheridan.  She has such a nasty, conniving face.  She also doesn't know how to carry herself.  No matter what she's wearing, it reads "I'm a cougar.  I'm still sexy.  Do me!"  Gross.

It's not so much that I hate this dress as that I hate Nicolette Sheridan. She has such a nasty, conniving face. She also doesn't know how to carry herself. No matter what she's wearing, it reads "I'm a cougar. I'm still sexy. Do me!" Gross.

Ok - this one is totally the dress' fault.  I love Jenny McCarthy, but there is too much happening on this dress.  It looks she intercepted some curtains bound for a Victorian museum somewhere.  Suffocating and overly elaborate.

Ok - this one is totally the dress' fault. I love Jenny McCarthy, but there is too much happening on this dress. It looks she intercepted some curtains bound for a Victorian museum somewhere. Suffocating and overly elaborate.

 

Christina Aguilera has been looking like a TRANNY. October 5, 2008

Christina, what is going on with your makeup lately?  You look.  Like a tranny.

 

Hot mess.

Hot mess.

 

OMG, seriously.  Who is doing her makeup!?

OMG, seriously. Who is doing her makeup!?

 

I guess I’m not THAT surprised though.  Miss Chris is not exactly known for her subtle fashion sense. Remember this?

 

There just isn't a good excuse for that hair.  That ass, on the other hand...

There just isn't a good excuse for that hair. That ass, on the other hand...

 I miss smokin’ hot Christina.  Come back mami!

 

Hey sexy!

Hey sexy!

 

Who does Sarah Brightman think she is?

I was surfing a minute ago, and I came across the following promotional pictures for Sarah Brightman’s new album, “A Winter Symphony”.  She is in such hardcore denial about getting older, for real.  Not only that, but the older she gets, the trashier she gets.  Check out the awesomely fake hair, for example.

Sexy braids there, Sarah. SUPER sexy.

Ok, and guys – she’s 48 years old.  This is the bitch that “The Phantom of the Opera” was WRITTEN for.  In 1986.  I was three.  And check this out:

 

This is one of those pics that make you nervous, because you can't TELL if you're seeing nipple or not.  WHY?

This is one of those pics that make you nervous, because you can't TELL if you're seeing nipple or not. WHY?

I thought her last album cover was bad.  I mean, she has a rockin’ body, no doubt.  But she also hires people to airbrush the SHIT out of her photos.

 

The back cover of Sarah Brightman's 2001 album, "Classics".

The back cover of Sarah Brightman's 2001 album, "Classics".

I can’t take it for real.  And her music is CRAP.  I’m sorry – I really tried.  And I like musical theatre.  In fact I went and saw Spring Awakening on Broadway today.  It won the Tony in 2007, and I’ve been dying to see it since I moved here.  Hunter Parrish, who plays Silas on “Weeds”, is playing the lead right now – and he did a fabulous job and is actually a really talented singer.  Who knew!  He’s so cute too.  I just can’t quit him.  

(This is him…)

 

Parrish on "Weeds", with costars Mary Louise Parker and Alexander Gould.

Parrish on "Weeds", with his costars Mary Louise Parker (love!) and Alexander Gould.

 …

 

Back to the point.  Sarah Brightman is working really, really hard for such terrible, pointless “pop” music.  

Do like her?

 

Sweet Jesus, Lindsay Lohan wants a baby. October 3, 2008

Lindsay Lohan wants to adopt a baby with her lesbian lover, Samantha Ronson, according the new issue of Marie Claire magazine.  They’ve JUST come out of the closet as a couple, so the next logical step is clearly a celebrity adoption.  After all, why would people care about her now that the gay quesiton has been answered?  Apparently she wants either “a child in need or a newborn from another country. I’m not sure yet.”  Lordy.

How is this a good idea? This bitch has been in rehab like nine times in the past two years (that’s a totally made-up figure, by the way, so don’t quote me.  But for real – it’s a lot.), her family is a complete disaster, and we have pictures of suspicious cuts on her arms – indicating self-harm – from mere months ago.  Not only that, but she’s reportedly off the wagon again hardcore, partying with her girlfriend Samantha Ronson at all her DJ gigs.  NEWSFLASH:  babies are not hobbies!  They are something you commit to loving and caring for for the rest of your life.  FFS.

She's stunning, I'll admit.  But stunningly ready to raise a child?  HELL to the NO.

She's stunning, I'll admit. But stunningly ready to raise a child? HELL to the NO.

Lindsay and her man recently enjoyed the waves in sunny Mexico.  Having admitted to their relationship, they were finally able to be as lovey and affectionate as they wanted.

Not that they weren’t before, but whatever.

Lohan & Ronson, before admitting they were together.  No worries gals, NO ONE KNEW.

Lohan & Ronson, before admitting they were together. No worries gals, NO ONE KNEW.

 

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson – bikini mamas on vacation. September 30, 2008

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, who recently came out as a lesbian couple to DJ Ted Stryker, on Loveline, were spotted on vacation in Mexico this week.  Even though Manthy is clearly the butch of the relationship, she’s pictured wearing a blue and pink bikini.  It sort of makes her a little more vulnerable and likable, I think.

Lindsay & her MAN, @ the beach.

Lindsay & her MAN, @ the beach.

Samantha sort of has a weird body, but Lindsay’s body is refreshingly AWESOME.  She’s totally off the wagon, but it sort of seems to agree with her, don’t you think?

Awww...

Awww...

I love that there are all these hot superstar lesbians these days.  As much as people new to to the homosexual thing tend to be more comfortable with the idea of girl on girl on a personal level, gay men were more culturally excepted in major media.  Now we have Ellen, Portia, Lindsay, Samantha, Melissa, Michele, and – unfortunately – Rosie.  Regardless, it’s awesome!

Ellen Degeneres & Portia de Rossi, who recently wed in California.

Ellen Degeneres & Portia de Rossi, who recently wed in California.

 

More unnecessary confirmation of homo-rificness: sailors are gay. September 24, 2008

 

Teehee.

Teehee.

 

Apparently Lindsay Lohan is a hot damn mess…again

This makes me sad.  Because despite the fact that she’s sort of a brainless tramp, she is beautiful in an old Hollywood starlet kind of way, and I can’t help but think she’s cute.  Also, since I dig the girls too, I’m obviously pleased by the recent turn of events.  Skinny Mantha isn’t that cute, but whatever.

But QUIT CUTTING YOURSELF!  I’m SICK of it!  You make thousands of dollars, mostly just for being beautiful, and you get to do whatever you want.  So shut the hell up & quit being tragic!  I’m done with it.

 

Totally hot, right?

What the hell, Lindsay?!  Take CARE of yourself baby girl!

Wtf Lindsay? Take CARE of yourself, baby girl!

 

 I guess this is marginal progress if this is the alternative.

 

I seriously missed her curves during this terrible stage.

I seriously missed her curves during this terrible stage.

I just wish she was taking better care of herself.  Where is Mean Girls Lindsay!?

(Sidenote: doesn’t she look strangely pregnant in that picture?)