Crazy Awesome

Welcome to the antidote.

Christina Aguilera has been looking like a TRANNY. October 5, 2008

Christina, what is going on with your makeup lately?  You look.  Like a tranny.

 

Hot mess.

Hot mess.

 

OMG, seriously.  Who is doing her makeup!?

OMG, seriously. Who is doing her makeup!?

 

I guess I’m not THAT surprised though.  Miss Chris is not exactly known for her subtle fashion sense. Remember this?

 

There just isn't a good excuse for that hair.  That ass, on the other hand...

There just isn't a good excuse for that hair. That ass, on the other hand...

 I miss smokin’ hot Christina.  Come back mami!

 

Hey sexy!

Hey sexy!

 

Who does Sarah Brightman think she is?

I was surfing a minute ago, and I came across the following promotional pictures for Sarah Brightman’s new album, “A Winter Symphony”.  She is in such hardcore denial about getting older, for real.  Not only that, but the older she gets, the trashier she gets.  Check out the awesomely fake hair, for example.

Sexy braids there, Sarah. SUPER sexy.

Ok, and guys – she’s 48 years old.  This is the bitch that “The Phantom of the Opera” was WRITTEN for.  In 1986.  I was three.  And check this out:

 

This is one of those pics that make you nervous, because you can't TELL if you're seeing nipple or not.  WHY?

This is one of those pics that make you nervous, because you can't TELL if you're seeing nipple or not. WHY?

I thought her last album cover was bad.  I mean, she has a rockin’ body, no doubt.  But she also hires people to airbrush the SHIT out of her photos.

 

The back cover of Sarah Brightman's 2001 album, "Classics".

The back cover of Sarah Brightman's 2001 album, "Classics".

I can’t take it for real.  And her music is CRAP.  I’m sorry – I really tried.  And I like musical theatre.  In fact I went and saw Spring Awakening on Broadway today.  It won the Tony in 2007, and I’ve been dying to see it since I moved here.  Hunter Parrish, who plays Silas on “Weeds”, is playing the lead right now – and he did a fabulous job and is actually a really talented singer.  Who knew!  He’s so cute too.  I just can’t quit him.  

(This is him…)

 

Parrish on "Weeds", with costars Mary Louise Parker and Alexander Gould.

Parrish on "Weeds", with his costars Mary Louise Parker (love!) and Alexander Gould.

 …

 

Back to the point.  Sarah Brightman is working really, really hard for such terrible, pointless “pop” music.  

Do like her?

 

Tina Fey rips Palin ANOTHER asshole with SNL VP debate spoof.

I seriously hope Tina Fey gets an Emmy for her comedy work on SNL during the 2008 election.  Because this shit is amazing.  Queen Latifah (as the debate moderator) is such a blunt instrument of an “actress”, and Jason Sedakis (as Joe Biden) was a little obvious too – but who the f@#$ cares, for real.  Tina Fey as Sarah Palin was, as usual, SPOT on.  As my new roomie Joannah said last night, “It’s even funnier b/c half of it is taken verbatim!”  So true, JoJo, so true.

Some of my favorite moments:

 

“I think marriage should be a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers.” (LOL!)

“I love Israel so much.  Bless it’s heart.”

“Oh, are we not doing the talent portion?” (Plays a flute)

“And for all of you Joe-Six-Packs at home playin’ a drinkin’ game: Maverick!” (Takes a ghost-swig.) – this one in particular made us laugh because, as you’ll remember from my vp debate breakdown, we actually tried to PLAY that drinking game. =)  Good times.

 

 

What’s up with The Killers new song, “Human”?

The Killers.

The Killers.

 

Have you guys heard The Kills new song, “Human”?  The lyrics are SO indulgent, SO self-conscious, and SO bad.  Check it out.

Human Lyrics

I did my best to notice
When the call came down the line
Up to the platform of surrender
I was brought but i was kind
And sometimes i get nervous
When i see an open door
Close your eyes 
Clear your heart…
Cut the chord

Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold
And I’m on my knees
Looking for the answer
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?

Pay my respects to grace and virtue
Send my condolences to good
Give my reguards to sorer moments
They always did the best they could
And so long to devotion
You taught me everything i know
Wave goodbye
Wish me well..
You’ve got to let me go

Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold
And I’m on my knees
Looking for the answers
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?

Will your system be alright
When you dream of home tonight?
There is no message we’re receiving
Let me know is your heart still beating

Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold
And I’m on my knees
Looking for the answers

You got to let me know

Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold
And I’m on my knees
Looking for the answers
Are we human
Or are we dancer?

Are we human?
Or are we dancer?

Are we human
Or are we dancer?

Why are the only two options of what you might be human or dancer?  Not a fan.  

Plus their performance on tonight’s Saturday Night Live show was terrible.  I said to my roommate while we were watching, “why is he so awkward”?  And I was informed that that’s Brandon Flowers’, the lead singer, appeal.  I don’t buy it.  I have to say that, after watching him perform both songs, I was a little scared.  He seems awkward to the extreme that he really had to SINGSINGSINGPERFORMDON’TTHINKABOUTITORYOUR’REGOINGTOFREAKOUT!  You know what I mean?  He’s totally pretty, but the new songs suck, and I’m sort of just not buying his shy-guy appeal.